


Gentleness Defines Us

by Nihonkikuasa211



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Past Drug Addiction, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 16:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6814225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihonkikuasa211/pseuds/Nihonkikuasa211
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angus never thought of Mario as a gentle person. As Angus watches Mario with a young boy,  his mind wanders to his relationship with the dark-haired resident, and the two have a conversation sitting on a bench.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gentleness Defines Us

_Gentleness Defines Us_

Angus never saw Mario as a gentle person. A person haunted by demons, yes. A person who was angry and wouldn’t hesitate to bit off anyone who tried to harm him, yes. But gentle?

              Gentleness, Angus had thought, came from Christa or any of the other doctors at Angels Memorial Hospital. At one time he had thought that Mario would never be capable of a smile, or that they would share laughter together. Now, Angus blue eyes wandered over to the scene.

              Who would imagine that such a young man was capable of speaking in such a kind voice? Angus and Mario had been exhausted after a shift, but the lighter-haired resident had dragged a reluctant Mario to a park. The two had been simply sitting for a fifteen minutes when a ball had suddenly collided against Mario’s leg. The said young man was crouched down beside a young boy who had been afraid to approach him because his ball had been kicked into the direction toward the bench that Mario and Angus were sitting. The resident had been prepared to pick up the ball himself and give it to the boy, but Mario beat him to it. Angus almost watched in awe as Mario picked up the ball in his hands and called the boy over. His hands handed over the ball to the boy gently.

              _“I’m not going to hurt you,”_ the dark-haired resident said sincerely. The guarded look Angus had once associated with Mario had disappeared, replaced by one of gentleness he had only thought that parents or adults fond of children capable of. Then Mario did something that Angus would never forget. A pure, unguarded smile framed Mario’s face. It would have been odd once to find Mario smiling. When they had first met, Angus had thought that the then-perceived resident with a black heart was not capable of anything nice. Someone who was poisonous to all around him.

              How different it was now. Seeing Mario smile like this now, Angus thought. He indirectly fingered the sober chip in his pocket, thinking of how much _had_ changed. The second-year resident never imagined that Mario would be his main anchor. Mario, the once-asshole-who-had-left-him-out-to-dry, was there when the guilt and the self-loathing became too much and Mike wasn’t around. Not that he wouldn’t want Mike to see him this way. Angus had only told Mario that he had cried after Mike had found out about the Adderall. For so long Angus had chased after Mike, wishing and dreaming that one day his older brother would be proud of him and that he would finally be stopped compared to Mike.

              The self-loathing of how he had treated the people around him, who had no idea what he was doing, tore at him. He was such an ass to all the people who were just there. Malaya… His heart burned at the memory of treating his other friend similar to Mario. Mario had told him that it was normal for drug addicts to lash out to people who cared about them, and to not care about them. _“Don’t beat yourself, up, Angus. It happens.”_ Even so, the ever-present guilt was still there. _“I’ve been treated worse.”_

 _He truly is kind,_ Angus thought as he watched Mario’s smile. _Talking to me about so much and not telling anyone about my secret…and telling Mike to back off when sometimes all I need is to be left alone._

“What?” Mario asked, looking with a bewildered expression at Angus as his friend looked at him strangely with a pensive look.

              “I didn’t think you would be so kind to that boy,” Angus stated with a small laugh. The laughter was able to reach his eyes now, and he saw that Mario was looking at him with a bemused expression. “You looked like you were good there, watching the people in the park.” A sudden question appeared in his mind. “What were you watching, anyway?”

              Mario sat down beside his friend, sighing briefly before looking back at the park. The adults were simply watching the children or talking, as the said children played and shrieked, climbing onto various metal objects.

              “I was watching the children,” Mario stated slowly. Angus felt a jolt inside him at the words. His concerned expression watched his friend, having gathered from the conversations that they had that Mario hadn’t had much of a childhood. “It’s just very amazing to watch them play,” he confessed. “Without a care in the world.” A slight distant, but not bitter look, appeared in his dark brown eyes. “I never got to have that experience, so I just find it…good to find that there are some who aren’t grown up yet.”

              “You had to grow up faster than most,” Angus stated quietly. At the corner of his eye, he could see Mario nod, his face not meeting his. “When you see them, it’s like you’re seeing your former self.”

              “I didn’t come here just so you could read my mind, Angus,” Mario said shortly.

              Angus laughed. He was amused by his friend’s discomfort. Although, he could see that Mario wasn’t truly angry at him. There was a faint fondness in Mario’s sharpened words.

              _You think it’s good that children play, because no one knows when their childhood will be taken away from them._ A somber feeling rose inside Angus as he remembered the small pieces he had gathered about Mario’s childhood. _But you…never truly had a childhood, did you, Mario? That’s why you were so gentle to that boy. Seeing him a version of yourself that doesn’t have the pain you carry now._

              “The real reason why I wanted to focus on phycology was to find out who I truly was,” Angus stated. It wasn’t hard to speak about it now. Before, it had been the hardest thing Angus had ever done, telling Mario about the real reason why he switched from phycology to emergency medicine. “I wanted to find out if all that was inside of me was just…an inferiority complex with no backbone. And then, well…I thought that I should prove to myself that I was not who I thought I was.” The resident sighed, slightly leaning back and looking at the clouds. “I suppose you could say that I wanted to _prove_ to myself that I was different.” The memory of guilt and the feeling of angry and ever-growing emptiness filled his mind. “And –”

              “I know, Angus.” Mario interrupted. The resident seemed to understand what kind of path Angus would go if he allowed the resident continue. “And you are different.” Soft wind began to blow, and Angus blue eyes watched at the dark brown eyes gleaming in the sunlight. “And it’s a good difference.”

              “Out of all the things I experienced here at Angles,” Angus said with a stare at the children playing, “meeting you was one of the best.” Mario looked at him incredulously. “I truly mean it, Mario.”

              “It’s just…that I never thought that I was someone worthy enough to care about.” There was a faint hoarseness in his friend’s voice, and Angus turned to find Mario looking down at his hands. “I mean, me? After everything?” He bit his lip, turning his face towards the happy children. “I simply came here to relax after a hell shift with your draconian brother, and you tell me that meeting _me_ was the best? A sad scoff escaped from him, and Mario tried to hide the sadness that Angus knew was beating inside his heart.

              “It’s true,” Angus said. “Without you, I don’t know where I would be,” he confessed softly. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten the confidence that I had, and I would have lost my license if you hadn’t… so thank you. That’s why I brought you here today.”

              Mario blinked, confusion becoming understanding as he recognized the solemnness behind his friend’s words.

              “Don’t mention it,” Mario stated with a small smirk. “I would do it all over again if I could.”

              Angus knew that Mario was sincere. Unlike the last time, he didn’t have any doubt that Mario spoke the truth. The man who he once thought he had no gentleness to speak of was beside him now, looking at the children again.

              _Gentleness defines him,_ Angus thought. _He’s not just pain and anger with half-buried secrets. There’s so much more to him…_ The second-year resident stared at his friend and smiled fondly when he wasn’t looking. _He’s Mario, and that is all that I need.  
_


End file.
